MTHRFNKR is the equivalent of taking a big shit on a piece of paper, hanging it on a wall and calling it postmodern art. This is us and yes we’re far from being perfect, but we have more than 3 readers, so I guess we’re doing something right, right? Right.
Many people write us e-mails, asking us for blogging tips. So, this is it. This is MTHRFNKR’s guide to explaining why your music blog sucks, so you can improve it.
Get in, sit back and put your seat belt on, we’re going on a wild trip through the blogosphere!

#1 The Reason Why You Blog Sucks
If you started your blog in order to become internet famous/ tumblr famous or to make a lot of money, go kill yourself! No, this is not just another sarcastic remark to make us appear provocative, I really mean it, kill yourself! Thank you!
The only reason why you should blog about music is passion. You should blog, because you eat, sleep, breath music. Because you like sharing music with other people. Not because you want to wake up in the morning feeling like P Diddy.
Think about it! 

#2 Your Layout Sucks
Have you ever been in love? Blogging is just like that. See, most people first fall in love with the appearance of a person and later on, when they get to know them better, they fall in love with their personality. Blogging is just like that.
The first thing your readers will see when coming to your blog, is obviously your blog layout. Now, if your layout looks like Donatella fucking Versace it’s very likely that most people will run away and never come back. Make your blog layout look fuckable, less Donatella more Chloe Sevigny. 
You can never do wrong with minimalism and simplicity. There are tons of affordable web designers out there, invest in one! It’s going to be worth it!
Here are a few designs that are pretty much amazing: a) Pretty Much Amazing, b) Amy&Pink, c) Interview Magazine.
After a person falls in love with one’s appearance (layout), the next important thing is their personality (content). 

#3 Your Content Sucks
Only post the best tunes. Sometimes music stops being music and turns into an experience. Sometimes music goes through your body. It takes you places. It tells a story. Tell that story! Only blog about the tunes that are really worth blogging about! The tunes that make you go bananas. 
Topics you probably shouldn’t blog about are:
+ Ellie Goulding dating Skrillex
+ Lana Del Rey getting another plastic surgery
+ Emo, New Rave, Screamo, words that end with “core”
You shouldn’t give a fuck about SEO as well and instead blog about the topics that really matter to you. Do your own thing! Pick a few music publications that you like and get inspired by them. More importantly, analyze those publications and find out what makes them so successful and go there!
Also, the best advice a blogger can give you is to never stop blogging. Don’t get discouraged and just keep on going, even if the only person that reads your blog is your mom. Readers will come, readers will go. It’s not important how many people read your blog, because you should blog for yourself.
1 reader, 2 readers, 3.000 readers. It’s just numbers, baby! Just fucking numbers!
The amount of readers a blog has, doesn’t determine its quality. Ever.  

#4 Your Blog Name Sucks
If you can’t come up with a more creative name than “My music blog”, you should probably find yourself a different hobby. How about gardening? 
The reason why the post-dubstep blog got so successful is its name. FACT! People just typed “post-dubstep” in on Google and the first thing that came up was this blog. Therefore the more pretentious your blog name is the better! 
But no really, you should give your blog a cool name. How about “Disco Decadence”? Alliterations are always awesome. No? Maybe “Disco Vietnam”? Or something less music related like “Underwater Circus” or maybe “Arcade”, “Backstage Diaries”? “Thunder”? “Morning View”? I don’t know. Take your time and be creative! 

#5 You Suck
If you’ve followed all of these steps and your blog still looks like shit, then you suck bro and you’re doing it all wrong! Your taste in everything probably sucks and there is no help left for you anymore.
But then again, who are we to tell you how to run your blog? The fucking internet police? Fuck us! Fuck this guide! And fuck you!
If you make it big, cool. If you don’t, that’s fine too.
Blog fame, what is it good for? Absolutely nothing!

By K-TRON